A Study of Character: Andy & April

   Hey friends! Welcome back to our Study of Character series. It's been a while since we dove into these! I'm so excited about this one. I absolutely loved it from the first read-through. It was written by David Burnett, with I'm sure, a great deal of input and wisdom from his wife Sarah! I hope you enjoy it, and I'm sure you will find valuable truths in it, as I did. Reno out! Burnett's in! 

Lessons in Love from Andy & April

SPOILER ALERT: The following contains details from the show Parks & Recreation.

   My wife and I love to watch Parks & Recreation together. If you haven’t watched it, you definitely should, especially if you like The Office. I don’t generally recommend the show for younger viewers, as—like The Office—it has some adult humor and themes. Parks & Recreation follows the employees of the Parks & Recreation Department in Pawnee, Indiana. Season after season, these quirky characters try to grow into the people they ultimately want to be as they serve their larger community. The show is riddled with humor and feel-good moments. Two of our favorite characters in the mix are Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate.

   When they meet for the first time, Andy is in his late twenties, completely helpless, and as irresponsible as any middle schooler could possibly be in a grown man’s body. April, on the other hand, is barely twenty, and she already views the world with deep cynicism and her own future without much for expectations. So many twenty-somethings struggle in the transition out of adolescence, either clinging unrealistically to childhood like Andy or sulking as they’re dragged into adulthood like April. But when Andy and April finally stumble into each other, something in each of them starts to change.

  

   Andy draws joy out of April, and April instills realism in Andy. As friends, Andy is always looking for little ways to make April smile. April, in turn, is always trying to make Andy’s dreams come true. They see the best in each other and they want best for each other. For the first time in their adult lives, their focus shifts from themselves to another, and they like it!

  

   This is love, and it is the cornerstone of maturity. Love is the deep desire for another’s greatest possible good, and the deeper that desire goes, the more one is willing to do for it. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13, NIV). Andy and April are experiencing real love for the first time, and they are drawn almost involuntarily into doing as much as they can for each other.

   After many false starts and setbacks, Andy and April move from flirtatious friendship to serious romance. They make each other happy, and without giving it much thought, they decide that’s all they need. Like most new lovers, they think that feeling good is the defining quality of their love: They don’t realize that they feel good because of they are doing good.

   “Love in this second sense…is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity).

   But Andy and April don’t know all that yet. So what do they do? BOOM! After only a few months, they surprise all their friends with a wedding ceremony and move in with each other!

   And what happens? Within WEEKS, our lovebirds are living in squalor! They’re eating off Frisbees because they don’t have any dishes, they’re putting all the mail in the freezer because they don’t know what to do with it, and they haven’t bothered cleaning the house even once. Is that what’s best for either of them? No. As it turns out, loving feelings don’t always do the work necessary to achieve what’s best for the beloved—probably because those involve work, which has to be done regardless of how one feels.

   Along comes Ben Wyatt! Ben is the epitome of responsibility, and as luck would have it, he needs a place to stay in Pawnee! Andy and April trick him into paying more than his fair share of rent, and Ben becomes their new roommate. He is stunned by their squalor and decides to do something desperately needed: He steps into the gap. Andy and April, like so many others, somehow managed to reach adulthood in age without acquiring any of the skills, self-discipline, or motivation necessary to actually be successful adults. Ben sets out to fix that problem: After teaching them the basics, he gives them next month’s rent, a very grown-up shopping list, and the command to go to Bed Bath & Beyond. Then he looks Andy in the eye, and tells him that he has complete faith in them.

   Unfortunately, Andy and April immediately discover Bed Bath & Beyond’s amazing “As Seen On TV” section. They stuff their shopping cart full of their findings, but when they reach the checkout line, Andy stops to second-guess their decision. April tries to press their luck by insisting that she “wants” the stuff they’re getting instead, like that’s all that matters. But Andy admits what they both already know: Just doing what they want isn’t working out for them. Under the surface, they’re losing that loving feeling as annoyance and frustration creep in. April responds with disappointment, saying that adulthood seems boring and unhappy and she doesn’t want to have to become an adult.

That’s when Andy really shines…

   “Hey, listen to me. Yes, we’re going to get a dish rack and shower curtains and a cutting board, but if you think for one second I’m not also going to get that marshmallow shooter so that I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you’re asleep, then you’re the dumbest woman I know.”

   Andy breaks the lie that was holding them back. With those few words, Andy shows April that becoming a mature adult—doing the hard things necessary to put love into action—is not the drudgery she fears! The difficult stuff that doesn’t feel good is just as important as the easy stuff that does. The loving feeling cannot last without both. This realization is the foundation for the whole rest of their relationship! Together, Andy and April continue growing in love—helping each other towards the greatest possible good.

   Relationships should always strive to find the balance of fun and responsibility, silliness and seriousness: Love is growth in both. God gave us great joy in each other, not so that we should reject it in favor of responsibility, but that it would complement it, allowing couples a fuller picture of God’s love for us.

   Andy and April go on to strengthen each other and display the fruits of a good relationship throughout the series, including helping each other find careers that not only bring them joy and financial security, but also allow them to give back to their communities. At one point, April commits to fulfilling every point on Andy’s bucket list, giving a clear example of putting your significant other first. As a couple, they push each other to become the best and fullest version of themselves that they can be. We are meant to push each other towards the men and women that God has planned for us. Andy and April’s marriage shows the immense power that relationships have to give us better lives and make us better people.

   I’m writing this in time for Valentine’s Day, but these truths apply to any meaningful relationship, romantic or otherwise. If you want to be like Andy and April, my advice is threefold: (1) Be best friends first; (2) Push each other to grow and mature; (3) Take what you have together and use it to better the world around you for the glory of God.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Burnett family!